you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
