it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
