i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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