He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
