Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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