remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
