i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
