My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
