at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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