you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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