Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
