Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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