Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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