I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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