I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
