He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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