Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
