JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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