apparently the secret to your success is patron
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
