Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
