I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
