16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
