somebody snuck up and got me drunk
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
