so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
