well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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