ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize