Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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