can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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