who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Too much gin, very little bucket
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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