I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
