I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we made out on top of his cat.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
if only i could text you this smell
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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