I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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