Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize