Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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