How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
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