I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
