Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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