thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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