I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
