I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize