Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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