i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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