I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
