White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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