I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
