So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
