so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
