apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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