nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
