So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
