Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
