i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Vodka?
Forever.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
