I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
