Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The struggles of a small town man whore
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
