I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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