I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize