So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
