Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
You left your phone here
Wait...
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