afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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