Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
