I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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