either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
