Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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