there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
