Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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