Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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