you win again, gameday.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
